The Friendzone
by Charlie's Hazardous Relapse
Summary: Today I'll do it. I, William Darcy, will do the unthinkable. I'm going to escape the Lizzie Bennet friendzone.


I, William Darcy, am in quite the predicament… but before I can elaborate I must give you some information detrimental to my issue. It could take a while. My life's a bit messed up and a tad bit complicated, in certain areas at least.

When it comes to stuff like love, people are always talking about fate and destiny. That feeling when you _know. _You see someone across a crowded room and you just _know. _You know that they're that one. The one you're meant to be with forever. For every girl there is a prince charming awaiting; his white horse ready to carry her into the sunset.

At least… that's what people talk about. Things like that don't happen in real life. Actually a more accurate way to put it is… they don't happen to guys like me.

Love is supposed to work out. I thought it would. I still hope it will. It's just… well last year I messed up big time with my '_one and only'_. I admit that I didn't treat her all that well at the beginning because at that point fate and destiny didn't fit into my agenda.

She ended up taking a lot of grief from me and I mean _a lot. _I repeatedly insulted and irked this woman to point she was filled with disgust at the mere mention of my name. In her opinion, I was most likely ranked right up there with a trip to the dentist. And I slighted her family. I mean I didn't just _say _bad things about them; I meddled in their lives. Her sister had been dating my best friend at the time and I, being the charlatan I've always been, decided she wasn't good enough for him. They broke up and we went away, my friend and I that is. It wasn't until later on that I figured it all out. Jane loved my friend and I loved Lizzie. God, am I a hypocrite. The irony of it all is almost painful.

Yeah, those are their names by the way. Jane and Lizzie. Lizzie and Jane. The Bennet twins. Truly extraordinary.

I know at this point you're wondering why in the world I'm telling you this. You want to get to the juicy stuff. At this spot, I must sound like a serial douche who just wants to whine a bit. But I'm not. At least, I'm not anymore because of this girl I'm trying to tell you about. So shut up and listen…. Please.

You see, six months ago I was friend zoned. As the majority of you must know, the friend zone is a frightening place. In it, I find my manhood to be an endangered species. Some of you may be asking what the hell a friend zone is- The friend zone is where you reside after a girl decides she likes you enough to be a good friend but labels you definitely no longer a dating option. You become completely non-sexual in her eyes, like a brother, or a chair. Frightening, is it not?

Elizabeth Bennet was- IS my friendzoner.

I had tried to make her mine. Multiple times. The first time I proposed that we go on a date…. I got slapped. Admitting the worst, I went about it all wrong. I was extremely insulting and simply reminiscing about that day is painful. I said bad things about her family. I said ghastly things about her. I was a sordid excuse for a man.

The second time wasn't _as _bad. It was better for her, perhaps. For me it still sucked. Everything went as perfectly as could be expected, everything that is, except the end result. I had fixed all that could be repaired. Her sister, Jane, and my friend, Charles, were once again tremendously in love. Her other sister had been saved from quite the unsavory situation (not that I was quick to take credit). I also said the words 'I'm sorry' so many times that I became the definition of the phrase.

It didn't turn out like I expected. As I mulled over the possible outcomes, only two presented themselves. She would either accept me and make William Darcy the happiest man in the world ever… or she could say no. I didn't really enjoy thinking about that bit of the equation.

In the end, I don't think I exactly got my point across. I apologized and groveled and all that good stuff but I may have left out a major part. You know the part that implied romance in _addition _to friendship. Thinking back at that moment, I'm still not sure why I didn't confess that I wanted so much more than friends. I wanted forever. I just kind of went along with and naively thought that friends could turn into that forever. Idiot.

_**O0o0O0o0O0O0o0O0o0O0O0o0O0o0 O0**_

"_So, what I need to know is- do we have a chance?"_

"_Yes."_

_My heart soared. My hopes and dreams were finally being realized. I finally had her, the woman of my dreams. I had Lizzie Bennet. _

"_Darcy, I think we're going to be great friends."_

_And there goes that fantasy. Lizzie. Why? Why did you have to crush the moment… why? Well…. I guess I can work up from friends. I mean, that's how all great couples start out- as friends that is. I mean think about…. Well there was that one pair… no. JANE AND CHARLIE. They were friends at first right? No? Well then…. We'll be that couple. We will be the ones who started off as friends and went from there. People throughout the ages will put us at the pinnacle of romance. People worldwide will pine for a love like ours. _

_Darcy, Darcy…. You poor delusional soul. You don't even know._

_**O0o0O0o0O0O0o0O0o0O0O0o0O0o0 O0**_

So this time- I'm doing it right. Flowers, romance, sincerity- the whole nine yards. I'm not going to insulting. I will be charming. I'm not going to settle for friendship. I'm going to have it all or nothing. That's the ultimatum.

So I sit here in my office, willing myself to be patient. I want to see her. I want to call her. I want to tell her once and for all. But I need to stick to the plan. She gets off work at seven. I'm no stalker but; that means she'll probably be home by seven thirty. I can't very well pop by at the diner and declare undying love in front of all her customers.

That would just be awkward.

So I need to wait. I'll leave at seven to go get some flowers. Then I'll walk to distance from the local flower shop to her apartment. I'll knock on the door and then…..

Well, I'm still working on the details of it all. But it will work. I mean, it has to, right? There isn't another option at this point. I can't be _just _friends anymore.

_**O0o0O0o0O0O0o0O0o0O0O0o0O0o0 O0**_

It's finally seven. It's time. It's time it's time it's time. It's time and I'm out of my office faster than you can say Supercalifragilisticexpialid ocious. (Which is pretty fast when you're exited FYI) I buy a bouquet of deep red roses. They may be cliché but they are her favorites. Whoever said clichés were stupid? I did? Well… this one's not stupid. Stupid clichés bad. Red roses good.

I practically sprint the distance from the shop to her apartment. The numbers blur as I whiz past the first floor and onto the second. And then I get ther; her apartment. 221 B. I rest my forehead on the wood and rap on the door.

My heart is still slamming into my chest as she opens the door. He brown hair is piled onto the top of her head and she has a grey sweatshirt on with some flowery jeans. She looks gorgeous.

"Elizabeth Bennet." I'm breathing hard and fast and must look horrible. Sprinting from the flower store wasn't my most intellectual moment. I feel sweaty and the suit I'm wearing from work is stifling. She's looking at me expectantly but I just wipe some sweat from my brow. Staring at her intently and breathing deeply, I awkwardly press the flowers into her hands.

My mind's going white but my mouth seems to be functional. It launches into a small passionate splurge. And it seems to do pretty well on autopilot. Instead of broke, I call her remarkable. Instead of stubborn, I call her endearingly opinionative. Instead of listing why I shouldn't even like her… I explain why I love her. Why I need her in my life more than she already is.

Then she starts laughing at me.

And it's hurting me. I just kind of put my heart out there… and she's laughing at me.

"Can I inquire as to what is you find so funny?" I'm worried that I'm delusional. Maybe we're not even friends. Maybe she's been cruelly humoring me into thinking that. Maybe she's been waiting for this moment, for the chance to throw it all in my face again. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot and she's laughing at me.

"I'm sorry I just don't get it."

"Don't get what?" What is there NOT to get? And if she doesn't get… why laugh?

"It's just, if you're really romantic, you pick a girl some flowers. It's weird because- you're like…. Here I killed these flowers for you. When I saw how pretty they were it kind of reminded me of you…. So I killed them. Anyways, I brought them here for you. You could put them in some water if you want…. to die slower."

"So I take it you _don't_ like the flowers?" I swear if she rejects me over flowers- Wait a second- I didn't even pick these. Does that matter? Oh god, I've gone nonsensical again.

"No! I love the flowers! I just don't understand why I love the flowers."

"Because I gave them to you in a grand romantic gesture?" At this point, I think I'm practically begging for a yes to any question I ask her. I need an affirmative response to practically anything at this moment. The laughing really did me in.

She gives me this small little smile and looks up from the roses. Her eyes have that glint. The Lizzie Bennet Glint. She's either going to make me extremely happy or going to slap me. I really hope it's not the latter. The latter really hurts and it's happened waaay too often.

"Yeah. Perhaps. Or maybe because it's you who's giving them to me."

There is a slight pause and we just look at each other. There are so many things I want to say but can't seem to vocalize. She herself seems a bit inarticulate as she chews on her bottom lip in a nervous habit I have come to adore. I know it's probably not the best idea but I can't help but at least attempt to satisfy my curiosity. I have to ask. I have to ask the question. The question that has plagued me for at least six months.

"Do you love me?"

She brings her had up to her neck as rubs it a little; it's like she wants to say something but can't quite push it past that social barrier. I want her to sat it- whatever it is.

"Well, you're definitely starting to grow on me."

"I love you."

"I value you."

Not good enough. I know that I'm pushing it. I know that, really I do, but I can't help it. Today, it's all or nothing.

"Elizabeth Marie Bennet, you are _not _friend zoning me again."

"Fine, fine. I love you too."

I can feel my eyes widen as I practically lunge at her. I hug her so tight that the flowers are most likely beyond repair as is my expensive suit. The roses squish and bleed between us while I breathe her in. She's so perfect. Well- maybe not perfect. I mean she's argumentative and stubborn and can hold a grudge longer than an elephant…. but she is Elizabeth Bennet. So what I'm trying to say is, if she isn't perfection…. I guess I don't want perfect. We will seriously have to talk later about her reasons to placing me in the friend zone. You can't just do something like that and get off scot free. It just doesn't work like that. I need a kiss or something as penance. Later. Right now I just want to enjoy this.

When she speaks, it's so softly and uncharacteristic I almost miss it.

"I like this."

This.

I like this too.

_AN: I know it's not great. It's just- I spent so much time on it. I'd hate to just delete and forget it. So… If you like it? Cool. If you don't? Understandable. Either way, what you should do is check out some of my other P&P stories. They're better. I pinkie promise. _


End file.
